We live in a world where people care more about finding the next best thing instead of realizing the best things they already have. We live in a world where sex is more important than love, friends with benefits are just things to get by with until something else comes along, giving up is easier than working things out, and beauty and weight matter more than respect, love, compassion, and heart. We believe we’re better off alone unless everything is perfect. We believe that nothing is right if our dreams aren’t coming true. We teach our children that it’s okay to spew hate and disrespect while demanding that we receive love and respect. We tell others to quit being a pussy or to man up after being humiliated over and over again for the benefit of other’s amusement. Yet if things were reversed, we wouldn’t take it either. It’s okay to have your own opinion but if it conflicts with mine, oh hell no. Yeah that is our society. We preach individualism then contradict it with conformity and belittlement. We live in a society where public bashing over false accusation is okay, laughed at, and encouraged because it brings more drama for others to watch. Forget what it’s doing to the person living through the undeserved humiliation. We turn blind eyes when we know people are doing wrong but it’s really none of our business. Right? At least not until it hits home, and affects us. Then we ask the same question our friends ask of us…”Why didn’t you say anything?” We are told what religion is right or wrong. We are told we have to love ourselves before we can truly love someone else. We think friendships are disposable and cheap. We are all definitely too busy to make time for each other while we complain about being lonely. We expect the truth but dare not speak it ourselves. The ones who live by it, honor it, and speak it are disbelieved because others do not know how to resemble their integrity. And how dare anyone think they can live within the truth? People believe that being single is better than being in a relationship. I mean who wants to get hurt? We assume we are going to get hurt so we dare not try. We still end up chasing the actual pain. And we all want to point fingers at each other instead of taking a look at what we can do to change. How sad it is to fear love, compromise, compassion, and respect. And yes, it is fear. We fear the ability to live within it all.
I have made my fair share of mistakes, and I am not afraid to admit them. I never set out to hurt anyone, but sometimes I do just that.
I cannot say I have not lied. I am 42 years old. I have lied from time to time in my life. Sometimes it is to help other people, sometimes to get my own way, sometimes to avoid hurting someone, and sometimes to avoid getting hurt. I am famous for setting the record straight though. I am one of the world’s worst liars. I said I have lied. I never said I was good at it. I feel horrible when I lie especially if it’s for selfish reasons.
I am not a person who believes in friends with benefits. When I am with someone I am with them because there’s more to it. I believe in being straight up and forward about how you feel because I do not have time for games or fake ass numbers anymore. I want real. You can be real with respect. I know some people don’t get that. I would rather have someone flat out tell me “I really can’t stand you” or “listen I like you and all but I really don’t want anything but sex and to be your friend.” Now that is real! It may sting but it definitely doesn’t cut like a knife. I always look for the best in people. Sometimes more than I should. If I say I really care about you I mean it. I believe friendship isn’t a face. It’s a feeling, a wholeness someone gives you within their companionship and vice versa. I believe in working things out and trying your best at everything. I never like giving up. Some may question that in certain areas of my life but I am not a quitter. I believe in fixing things unless it’s beyond repair.
I hate drama. Probably one of the biggest reasons I stay to myself anymore. It takes too much energy to keep up with it. I don’t know how some people do it. It’s exhausting.
I write short stories, quotes, articles, and poems not for attention or to be understood but to understand my own depth and feelings. I honestly don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of me. So many of you think I do, but I don’t.
I live my life knowing that I will make mistakes and I will hurt people. It will not be because I set out to. It is all about learning and growing. It teaches me what not to do the next time. I will love with my whole heart no matter how much someone else may not love me back. I will respect every person I come across no matter how much someone disrespects me. I will wish every person peace and happiness no matter how much hate they distribute toward me. Why?
Someone has to teach others that life can be beautiful if you just believe!!!